What!?

How has it almost been ONE WHOLE YEAR since I last blogged!?  Well for starters I’ll tell you how…

I started school in January (which I know I’ve mentioned) to become a nurse someday.  That was super intense.  My kids were sick for like 7 years straight.  That was also intense.  Then I got pregnant.  Holy shit.  This was the WORST pregnancy.  I’m going to be writing a TON on that topic because I want to document everything but not only was it physically my most challenging pregnancy but also my most mentally challenging.  Top that off with going to school and life just got hard.  I made zero time for things I enjoyed.  I will be honest though, when I’m pregnant I don’t enjoy much.  I enjoy sleeping which I wasn’t getting very much of.  I enjoy laying on the couch and watch reality TV which was replaced with Curious George and Daniel Tiger episodes.  I enjoy cruising the internet which was replaced with researching every little thing about my pregnancy and my baby’s “problems”.  I enjoy getting up at an inappropriate hour before my kids get up.  That was replaced with, well, my kids joining me at that hour.  I enjoy studying for my class.  That was replaced with worry and nausea.  I enjoy exercise, specifically running, which was replaced with lack of movement due to body aches and the elliptical machine at the gym.  I enjoy organizing which was replaced with an attitude of not caring.  I enjoy a super clean house which was replaced with the lack of motivation to clean but only make sure things were semi picked up.  I enjoy coffee and sugar…all things sugar, which was replaced with food aversions and an overall hate for most things edible. I could go on and on (and I did during pregnancy which is why we are NEVER doing that again!) with all the things that were stripped from my life and replaced with basically depression.  Is there such a thing as prepardum depression!?  Because have I mentioned before that I hate being pregnant!?  But lastly my motivation for doing anything creative was taken from me too which included blogging.  So I found out I was pregnant back in May and if you do the math, that’s also when I stopped blogging too.

But you want to know something?  I’m back!  You want to know why I’m back?  I gave birth at the end of January to the most perfect baby girl I could have ever set eyes on!  I know it sounds absolutely crazy but for all the things that pregnancy takes away from me, post-pregnancy is an entirely different experience.  The second that kid popped out of me my food aversions went away, my energy came back, my depression cloud burst and my attitude turned into all things sunshine and rainbows, my body came back, my motivation to exercise returned, my extreme need to clean and organize returned (to almost unhealthy levels), I have been playing with my kids, I want to go go go go go all. the. time. (which I known my husband just loves-insert eye roll), my attitude towards a life to love is back and I’m just so damn happy!  I love being a mom again and I think it shows.  Even my kids have better attitudes and are sleeping better and listening better.  All this also leads me to wanting to blog more too!  My creative juices are flowing big time and I need an outlet.  I have always loved writing and want so badly to get back to it.  What I will probably focus on most this year is documenting my daughter-of-a-project.  I want her to be able to look back on this blog and read about what she/we went through.  Anyways, more on that in the next post.  I want to document her birth story before I forget so that’s what I’ll focus on with the next few posts then we’ll go back to the beginning of her journey and the pregnancy from hell and I’ll explain why it was such a tough one for us this go around.

But now it’s Saturday morning and 2 of the 3 kids are now up and active so it’s pancake/waffle/cereal time.  Hope everyone is enjoying a fun filled family weekend!

Advertisements