My Transformation

I was going to write a 19 month update today but this post seemed to morph into a post that signifies a momentous moment for me as a parent so I’ll be back later with a 19 month post but this may help you understand why, in his 19 month post, I will be gushing over him.  A lot.

I just don’t even know where to start with this little guy.  Something amazing has happened over this past month that I think needs some explaining.  The second weekend of November my parents took Emmett for a long weekend so that Chad and I could have some much needed alone time away from from the responsibilities of caring for another human being.  Around that time I was still taking my Zofran and getting fairly gaggy after 6pm so this break was very welcomed.  I dropped Emmett off with my mom around 6pm on Friday evening and met Chad for dinner down in the art district.  After that we met up with friends of ours who were also childless for the evening and enjoyed another friend’s art show reception complete with more friends (some who brought their kids and some who didn’t).  We stayed out way too late and had amazing conversations.  It was so nice coming home and just putting ourselves to bed that night without the added chore of putting a little one down as well.  The next morning was filled with TV watching, working out, house projects, cleaning, naps and trips to such places as the movies (to see Thor), walks in at the indoor mall, and eating out at an Ethiopian restaurant (specifically chosen because these places are notorious for being slow and a 1 year old would never sit through the entire dinner).  We stuffed ourselves silly and came home and watched a movie and fell asleep.  The next day we woke up and did similar stuff with the added bonus of going and picking up our guy.  Neither of us were at all ready to go get him and both agreed that we needed maybe 2 more weeks of just “me” time.  Ha!  It was a glance back into our single lives before a baby and we both remembered it very fondly.  Of course it was great to see E man when we arrived later that night at my parents house to get him but then it was back to the daily grind with a toddler.

That next week through me for a loop and was so challenging.  Chad was gone 3 out of the 5 nights which made for very long days for both Emmett and myself.  Not a great way to “ease” back into care for a toddler.  I was worn down, grumpy, not feeling well, and on top of that, Emmett decided to only take maybe an hour nap each day (and that’s actually being generous).  Naps are key in taking care of children.  They give the caretaker a much needed break for the day and they give the child a chance to recharge so that they wake up in a good mood.  Because Emmett wasn’t really napping, I was miserable because the only thing I’d get done during that time was a shower or a lunch break and he was miserable because he’d wake up grumpy and cranky and there was nothing I could do but hold him to get him to calm down.  Needless to say it was a disaster of a week and the first time I can honestly look back and say that I was over being a parent.  Ok, ok, enough complaining right?  What?  I’m allowed to do that every once in a while.  Luckily it gets better…Way better.  By that Friday I was done.  BUT I still had an entire day with Emmett because Chad was going to be out yet again and it was up to me to entertain Emmett from wake up to bed time.  That day was again another challenge as he woke up from his nap around 2pm that day and we still had to fill 5 hours before bedtime.  We played at the house, went to the park, took the dog for a walk in our old neighborhood and here’s the best part, we had a mommy/son date to Panera for dinner.  I had actually been looking forward to this date for a few days because 1) I didn’t have to think about what I was going to make him for dinner, 2) it would give us another activity to do that would lead right up to bedtime and 3) I was really craving some creamy broccoli cheddar soup.  I like Panera because it’s kid friendly and if your kid has a meltdown or throws his food no one cares.  So I was prepared for anything to happen.

We got there and I ordered Emmett a kids meal complete with a turkey and cheese sandwich with tomatoes, mayonnaise and mustard, a yogurt, apple and a milk to drink.  I got a nice bowl of broccoli cheddar soup and we scoped out our post, sat and started to dig in.  As we were about 1/4 way through our meal a family sat down next to us, the entire family, not just the mom and her kids.  There were 2 boys, about 5 and 3, and a baby girl, maybe 9 months or so.  The boys were dressed in super hero jammies and weren’t touching their mac and cheese and the little girl was in a highchair sucking down a puree pack.  The mom and dad looked tired and worn down and didn’t say one word to each other the entire meal.  The only phrases that did come out of their mouths were phrases of reprimand and discipline to the two boys.  Meanwhile I was having the BEST time with Emmett, a first in over a week.  He was quiet, actually eating his food, sitting still, saying “hi” to everyone who walked by us, and smiling at me non stop.  I was able to eat my food as well with minimal distractions.  I just kept thinking how incredibly sad it was to watch this family, as if child raising was some sort of punishment or something.  I felt as though if somebody had  seen me earlier in the week they would have though similar thoughts while watching my interaction with my own child.  I decided right then and there this behavior had to stop, at least in my own day to day life with my own toddler.  I immediately looked at Emmett and began having a conversation with him.  I took him out of his highchair and had him sit in my lap for the rest of his meal which I hugged him and kissed him on his cheeks and praised him for being the “best boy”.  We laughed, we sang songs, we hugged multiple times, I tickled him, we played peek-a-boo, and we finished our entire meal together, leaving nothing behind (this was quite the accomplishment because on top of everything else that had happened that week Emmett wasn’t eating any food and it was discouraging for me because as his mama, I worried that he wasn’t’ getting enough food in his tiny belly).  We had so much fun together that night and I woke up.  I wanted to start being present again.  I wanted to enjoy all the things that Emmett enjoyed and to understand why he was upset and comfort him when he needed me, not just act burdened.  I wanted him to have a mama who was fun, smiled at him, interacted with him and only disciplined him when he did things that were mean, not irritating to me.  I’m so grateful for that evening and for running into that family because they’ve given me a new perspective on parenting.

Since that evening at Panera I’ve learned to become more patient with Emmett.  I’ve learned to be present because these moments are fleeting.  I’ve learned to smile more, I’ve learned to embrace the mess when he dumps an entire box of Cheerios out on the couch (because he’s 1 and a half and is just exploring).  I’ve learned that being a good parent takes more than just getting through the day.  It takes being in the moment and learning to love each and every thing your child does because most of the time they just don’t know any better.  Truth be told I also feel better so that makes a tremendous difference.  My first 20ish weeks of pregnancy have been rough on everyone in our little family.  Now that I’m finally feeling more “normal”, it is easier to live day to day life a little happier than before.  But it’s also a nice reminder to see miserable parents and think, “I refuse to be one of them.  My child is a blessing and it’s up to me to prove that to him”.  Thankfully we’re back on track and each and every day since that evening at Panera has been filled with activities, smiles and lots of hugs and kisses.

Each and every night Emmett and I say prayers together and at the end of our prayers I always thank God for my Emmett.  He makes me laugh more than anyone I know and he brings more joy into my life than I ever thought possible.  My little guy is my world and I just couldn’t imagine life without him.  I’m so incredibly lucky to have such an easy going, funny, outgoing and carefree little guy.  Emmett, you mean more to me than you will ever know.  I love you so so so much little buddy.

24 weeks with baby #2

Sheesh, I finally feel half way caught up after yesterday’s massive baby bump update.  Now I get to start my weekly posts over again (which is what I had intended to do all along!).  So with that being said, let’s get right into my 6 month post!!

Here’s a picture I took this morning of my growing belly.  It looks nothing like it did with Emmett and it’s quite alarming:

24 weeks front view 24 weeks side view

Alarming you ask?  Yes, well, in terms of size I don’t think I “popped” as early with Emmett.  That’s ok though.  I like that people can actually tell I’m pregnant and not just pudgy.

Weight gained:  I weighed myself this morning and so far I’m up 15lbs.  UGH.  I suppose that’s right where I should be but still it’s so hard to mentally be ok with that number.  I was looking back at old posts while pregnant with Emmett and I had gained about 15lbs by this point with him too.  So I guess it’s not so bad after all.  I should count myself lucky because I’m still able to workout at a pretty good clip and I’ve had zero food in the past several weeks.

Workouts:  As I just mentioned, working out is going swimmingly.  I love working out and have been doing it almost every day since about week 10.  I feel strong and my cardiovascular endurance hasn’t seemed to have changed at all since becoming pregnant.  If the placenta thing clears up it will be interesting to see how well I do on a run after not running for 4 weeks.  Right now I’m alternating days with 55 minutes of elliptical, 30 minutes biking and 30 minutes weight lifting, and also 5 mile walks.  Over the Thanksgiving week I walked a ton because I didn’t have access to a gym and I had also been sick so I figured walking was a great way to keep up the calorie burn without pushing myself too much.  I really haven’t walked at all this pregnancy and I’m sure it has something to do with the fact that I have a gym membership with a daycare.  I just can’t justify having Emmett in the stroller for over an hour everyday if he could be at daycare interacting with other kids and running some energy out instead.  Let’s cross our fingers that my next appointment brings good news so I can RUN again!!!

Symptoms: TONS of round ligament pain.  Actually twice in one week I’ve been hit hard with this annoying symptom.  Last night was really bad actually.  It was so bad that I had to take Emmett downstairs with me so that I could lay on the couch and he could run around until Chad got home from work.  It was tough.  Every time the pain hit I’d just hug my lets in closer to my chest.  Chad asked me this morning if I thought I needed to go see the doc. but I really haven’t been too worried because it’s so sporadic.  I also have experienced some pelvic pain when I do take long walks hence another reason I don’t take walks that often.

Movement:  This little babe definitely has started having a pattern of when to shake it.  I have noticed movement in the morning after a workout usually around 10am and then tons of movement around 2ish-3-ishpm.  After that movement starts back up around 5-6pm or so and then calms way down until about 8:30pm or so.  After that it just depends upon how active I’ve been that day.  If I’ve been super active all day I really don’t feel much movement when I hop into bed that night but if I’ve been laying low that day then my stomach tends to bounce around like popcorn.  It’s amazing and if I don’t feel movement then I instantly start worrying like I did today after my workout!  Thankfully I’m feeling plenty of kicks and jabs as I type of this 🙂

Food Aversions:  None.  Nada.  Zip.  Hallelujah!  I feared in the beginning I’d never eat again.  Thankfully those memories are far gone by now.  I’m even chewing minty gum again!  That NEVER came back with Emmett.  I actually remember trying to chew some at about 16 weeks with him and almost threw up the minute I stuck the piece in my mouth.  This one is hit or miss.  Some days it tastes fine, other days I go without.  Minty toothpaste still bothers me but at least I’m not gagging while brushing my teeth anymore!

Food Cravings:  Nothing in particular.   I have just enjoyed eating again.  I’m so happy this part of pregnancy is here earlier than it was with Emmett.  With Emmett I was a month behind this one so I was still having major food aversions during Thanksgiving and Christmas.  The worst was not really being able to enjoy most of the holiday treats that come along with the holidays.  I’m looking forward to gobbling down my fair share of holiday cookies this time around 🙂

Sleep:  Ah sleep.  Or should I say lack there of.  I am having a pretty terrible time with sleep.  I’m tossing and turning from side to side all night long.  If I stay on one side too long I get achy and uncomfortable and inevitably wake myself up.  I purchased a body pillow about 2 weeks ago and it’s heaven.  I always heard others talking about the magic of a body pillow but just never invested in one of my own.  I saw one at Target for the whopping price of $9.99 and knew it just had to be mine.  It was a purchase I will never regret and I don’t think that pillow will be leaving our bed ever.  Chad and I even fight over it sometimes.  He may be getting one under the tree this year so that he’ll leave mine alone!

Maternity Clothes:  I think I’ll leave this one out next post because it probably won’t change much from week to week.  My Be Band that my sister in law gave me with Emmett is now making a regular appearance.  I don’t even own a pair of maternity pants because that’s what got me through my last pregnancy so I think I’ll be doing the same with this one as well.  Maternity shirts are an entirely different story and all I’m really asking for for Christmas this year are maternity shirts.  I have purchased 3 new ones this time around already and am so so so thankful for those long, stretchy, big bellied shirts.

Stretch marks: None and I don’t plan on getting any!  I didn’t with Emmett and I don’t think I will with this one either.

Miss anything:  YES…Same old same old but CRAFT BEER!!  I actually bought some Amber non alcoholic O’douls the other day while at Target.  It was ok but I think from now on I’ll just have to take plenty of sips from Chad’s beers.  They are so much more tasty.  I also found a non alcoholic wine at Target but decided to forgo it.  Again, sips of the real stuff will probably satisfy me far more than the fake stuff.  I also miss my regular clothes and of course running (have I already mentioned this!?).

And that’s about all for this past week.  No sickness this week although heartburn is getting worse and worse as I progress through this pregnancy.  Last night while laying down with my round ligament pains I turned to some tums for help.  They actually did a world of difference and will now be going everywhere with me.  I’ll hopefully be back next Thursday or possibly Friday with my 25 week update.  Maybe Friday with an update on my ultrasound and placental movement!

Weeks 18-23 Baby #2

What is wrong with me!?  I get into such a roll with blogging and then you don’t hear from me for a month or more!  I can’t even say I haven’t had the time, just no motivation to sit and write.  At least I’ve been taking pictures every week to document this pregnancy which is more than I can say that I did for my pregnancy with Emmett.  I did go through a hiatus from blogging about my pregnancy with him around this same time.  But seriously, 5 weeks have gone by and that’s 5 weeks too many in my opinion.  So here we go.  I’m going to just post pictures first then I’ll talk a little bit about what’s been going on with this pregnancy for the past 5 weeks…

18 weeks:

iPhone 5 pics 427 iPhone 5 pics 426

19 weeks:

iPhone 5 pics 439 iPhone 5 pics 438 iPhone 5 pics 437

20 weeks (half way there!!):

iPhone 5 pics 460 iPhone 5 pics 459 iPhone 5 pics 458

21 weeks:

iPhone 5 pics 478 iPhone 5 pics 477

22 weeks:

iPhone 5 pics 507 iPhone 5 pics 504

23 weeks:

iPhone 5 pics 515 iPhone 5 pics 514 iPhone 5 pics 513

 

Wow, judging from where I was 5 weeks ago, I’d say I’ve done some major growing!  This growth wasn’t nearly as evident with Emmett because I don’t think I was packing on the pounds so fiercely with him for some reason.  I swear I looked 6 months pregnant when I went into labor with him!  I think with this one I’m going to look every bit of 40 weeks when I deliver 🙂

I’ll start briefly with 18 weeks and work my way to 23.  The one thing I do remember about 18 weeks and what is worth sharing is that Chad was able to feel the baby kick just shy of 18 weeks.  He felt the baby move on that Tuesday before.  I was so excited for him.  I’ve been feeling the baby now for a while but it’s huge when someone can feel the baby kick from the outside.  I had a few moles removed the day that I turned 18 weeks and so in the pictures you’ll now see a lovely red dot next to my belly button.  I HATE it but better to have that ugly red scar than skin cancer I guess.  Leading up to 18 weeks was my last puking episode.  I have puked since then but it was because of a horrid stomach but that Emmett and I caught and passed on to almost everyone who came near us (that was just shy of 23 weeks).  I also had a doc’s appointment leading up to 18 weeks to hear the heartbeat.  I was super concerned because I wasn’t feeling quite the same amount of kicking that I had with Emmett.  I remember with him I felt kicking at about 16 weeks so it was a bit unnerving to not feel as much with this one at that point.  My doc. reminded me that every pregnancy is drastically different and I also don’t sit around all day at a desk anymore waiting to feel the kicks.  I’m chasing around a toddler which makes it slightly more difficult to constantly be in tuned to what’s going on in there.  The week leading up to 19 weeks Chad and I got a couples massage that my mom gave us last Christmas.  Oh. My. God. It was incredible and if and when we become independently wealthy, I will be getting myself a massage every. single. week.  Chad and I were both sore for days afterwards but it was so so so worth it.  I wanted the masseuse to focus on my upper and lower back and focus she did!  I felt as though I had lifted weights for 2 hours after she was done with me.  I’ve never had a massage like that and I have every intention of going back before this pregnancy is over.  We also went to the pumpkin patch that week with one of my moms groups and the reason I’m mentioning this is because I got a latte on the way there and it was actually pretty goood!  With Emmett I basically didn’t drink any coffee the entire pregnancy because it just didn’t taste good.  I’m happy to report that after that day, coffee has made a regular appearance back into my daily life.  It’s 1/2 caf. and I only drink 2 cups but every sip is worth it and I make sure to use whole whipped milk in both of those cups to enhance every single taste.  The week leading up to 20 weeks my sister in law and brother in law and their two kids came to town.  I was a bit worried about not working out while they were here (I didn’t want my crazy workouts to get in the way of plans we had those days) because I have noticed that the days I don’t work out are much harder and I’m much more tired than the ones that I do work out but to be honest I didn’t miss the workouts and I think my body welcomed the break.  I felt pretty good while they were here with the exception of course of nighttime.  For some reason nights have always been worse for me than the mornings.  I was still taking my zofran every day at this point.  I had experimented a few times with not taking it and it didn’t go over too well.  I gagged a ton those afternoons and had to take massive 2 hour naps both times.  I think that was about about the 18 week mark when I also threw up for the last time.  We also had Emmett’s first swim lessons the week leading up to 20 weeks.  He did wonderfully 🙂  I’m so proud of my little guy.  He now knows how to hold his breath under water and LOVES jumping in and getting fully submerged.  I plan to do at least one more round of swim lessons with him before baby gets here at the end of March.  The week leading up to 21 weeks Chad and I had a free weekend.  My parents asked to take Emmett off our hands for the weekend so that we could have a mini vacation away but we opted to just stay in town and it was amazing.  It actually made Monday very rough because for some reason I still wasn’t feeling well (pregnancy related).  I slept a lot that weekend and we went out to eat almost every meal.  We also met up with other friends of ours who also have a baby a few days younger than Emmett and another couple who’s baby is a few days older than Emmett.  We were all child free for the evening and it was awesome seeing them without their kids.  It really gave us all a chance to really talk instead of half ass a conversation because one of us has to attend to a kid.  That weekend gave us back a taste of what it was like before we had a kid.  I’m not saying I’d give E up for the world nor would I ever ever in a million years want to take back being pregnant so quickly after Emmett (because as I’ve mentioned this one was 100% planned) but gosh it sure feels good to have zero responsibilities for another human being for a few days.  Next time I’m going to ask if they’ll take him for a week because 2 days just is not enough 🙂

I’m starting a new paragraph for this next part because it deserves to be a separate entity.  We also had our anatomy and gender scan this week.  Everything looked great with the baby however, my placenta is sort of covering my cervix which means I’ve been diagnosed with placenta previa.  This is a condition in which the placenta either partially or fully covers the cervix.  Apparently it’s not a huge deal but if it doesn’t move out of the way, I could be looking at a c-section instead of having another natural birth.  At first I really didn’t think much of it.  I mean, I was so happy with the results of the anatomy scan that I didn’t care or think too much into this “problem” and after we left the doc’s office Chad and I revealed the gender to ourselves (more on that later) so I was really only concentrating on getting out of there so that we could find out what the sex of our next baby was going to be.  Of course later that night after all the excitement had died down, I started to Google this condition and the implications and complications associated with it.  Turns out it doesn’t just mean c-section, it could also mean a slew of other problems like bleeding, bed rest, pelvic rest, no exercise, no lifting heavy objects including toddlers, and in some horrible cases a hysterectomy at birth if the placenta doesn’t detach all the way!  YIKES!  So after sufficiently freaking myself out I worried about this thing for the next week.  Eventually after enough people telling me to stop looking at the internet I did and I’m in a much better spot today.  I’ve also been talking to friends who’ve known several people with the issue and all placenta’s seem to have moved north.  I have my next appointment and ultrasound on December 13 (yes, just my luck FRIDAY the 13th!) to see if there’s been progress.  In some cases the placenta stays low until the 38th week so even if it hasn’t moved yet there’s still hope that it could, it’s just not as likely by that point.  So we’ll see.  I’ve come to terms with it and have decided that if a c-section is in my future, at least I get out of giving birth naturally again.  This alone has kept me up at night, no joke, because I really want to do this again naturally.  For me, I feel very strongly that I have a non medicated birth again for this one but along with that comes the horror of pain that is associated with it.  In the end I keep reminding myself that it’s so worth it but gosh, leading up to that point when the baby is put into your arms is just miserable.  So we’ll see what happens…I’m open to anything as long as my baby and I are safe in the end.

Wow, sorry, this post is getting longer and longer but I really want to remember all of this stuff.  So moving onto the week leading up to 22 weeks was very uneventful.  I honestly think it was one of our most boring weeks we’ve had in a really long time.  I did take Emmett to a new book babies at the library in our neighborhood that week and he had a great time.  But that really has nothing to do with the pregnancy.  The week leading up to 23 weeks weeks was the week before Thanksgiving.  This was a great week/the worst week ever.  We had lots of family time since my brother flew in that Friday before but the few days leading up to Thanksgiving were very trying.  As I mentioned earlier, Emmett and I came down with a horrible stomach bug.  Emmett actually got out of it better than I did.  He threw up on Sunday night and had a fever of about 102.5 and had diarrhea but by Monday afternoon he was almost 100% back to normal.  I on the other had got sick Monday morning and had to enlist the help of both my mom and Chad to get me through the day.  Thank goodness they both have some sick time saved up because I don’t know how I would have done it without them. After throwing up 3 times I called my doc. to ask what the protocol is for sick pregnancy women.  She told me the objective is to just keep us out of the hospital.  The only reason I wasn’t concerned at all about the baby is because I could feel kicking the entire day.  I also kept drinking drinking drinking water and Gatorade every though I threw it all up an hour or so after I’d drink, I knew it was better than drinking nothing at all.  So I felt as though I never did get dehydrated.  I lost 4lbs that day!  Don’t worry though, I made up for those pounds on Thanksgiving 🙂

So that about wraps up what I’ve been up to the past 5 weeks.  Tomorrow marks 6 months pregnant for me!  To sum it up, I’ve been doing awesome with workouts and go almost everyday.  That’s definitely more than I can say I did with Emmett.  The only unfortunate thing I can complain about right now is my lack of running.  Before being diagnosed with placenta previa I was running about 4-6 miles every other day and keeping it up.  I was so excited because I was determined that this was the pregnancy I was going to run that many miles by the end.  I wasn’t put on any restrictions but I decided to personally stop running to see if that would help the situation.  I’ve decided that if my placenta has moved up then I will slowly add running back into my exercise routine but until I get the thumbs up that things are as they should be I’m not chancing it.  I’ll be back tomorrow with my 24 week picture and update and I am going to try really REALLY hard to force myself to sit down for an hour each week to at least blog about my pregnancy updates!  I’d also like to do an update for Emmett as well which I’ll try to get around to at some point in the next few days.  He turned 19 months last week!!  I will say that he just gets more and more fun each and every day and I feel like the luckiest mama in the world to have him.  But more on him later 🙂