Campbell 1 month

I’m exactly one month behind with this update.  Today Campbell is 2 months old!  I was reading some blogs last night and thinking about how much I love writing and how it definitely has become last on my priority list.  But, the thing is, many many bloggers who have two children ALSO blog, have time to exercise, cook and sometimes work part or full time jobs.  You know their secret?  They get up even earlier than I do (and I’m not sure how that’s possibly considering I woke up today at 4:50am!).  So I got to thinking, how is it fair that I blogged about every detail of Emmett’s life for the first 18 months and I’ve barely even made mention of my sweet girl?  How’s that going to look years down the road when one of the finds this blog!?  I’m thinking Emmett could care less but the girls always get more offended so I’m going to attempt to start writing a little more about my little lady 🙂  Here goes noth’in…

Week 1: Oh boy, this was kind of an amazing week in the Baudoin household.  We left off with one kid and came home from the hospital with TWO!  Thank goodness Chad’s parents were here to help us with Emmett.  We had Campbell on a Saturday morning and came home on Monday morning.  I have to say that I felt absolutely amazing.  Some women take months to recover but my recovery was littery overnight with C.  I wasn’t sore and I felt like my old self again as soon as she came out so I knew that I really wouldn’t need help in the traditional sense.  My help was needed more for taking Emmett off my hands so that I could get some things done around the house with all my pent up energy!  Monday was a relaxing day.  We first went to my parents house to pick Emmett up (since that was where he was staying) and then we took our sweet girl home for the first time.  She slept a lot which was actually really nice.  When we got home we took naps and handed our lady off to Chad’s parents.  We even were able to get out of the house with just E to go to the liquor store.  We also had both sets of grandparents over that night for dinner and I made brownies like I did the night I came home after having Emmett.  I’d say it’s a coming home tradition for me-eating raw eggs never tasted so good!  We also had Campbell sleep on our chests those for two nights home from the hospital.  She slept on my chest at the hospital and I’ll always cherish that time with my baby.  We aren’t co-sleeping type of people so those first 4 nights were a real treat for me.  I wasn’t nearly as scared this time around that something was going to happen to her like one of us rolling over on her and it helps everyone sleep better.  The next day I was ready to take off and get out of the house.  So I took my baby and we ran several errands.  We went to Trader Joe’s, the mall, and several other spots to find a new diaper bag.  She slept the entire time without me every having to nurse her.  I’d say she was out for maybe 4 hours.  I think I actually had to wake her up to feed her!  We lost some of our help when my father in law came down with a low grade fever and wasn’t feeling well later that week.  It was really unfortunate but we understood that they needed to go so by Thursday we were forced to function as a family of 4.  Thank goodness Chad took the week off.  I don’t think I would have been quiet ready to do all that by myself yet.  The rest of the week was spent going to parks, going to the mall, doing runs to the grocery store and Home Depot.  It was amazing having Chad around and actually the two kid thing wasn’t nearly as bad as I’d envisioned.  C continued to sleep ok at night and would wake every 2-3 hours.  One night was particularly bad with waking up every single hour.  The problem was that she was only eating for maybe 2-3 minutes at a time and then falling asleep.  She wasn’t taking a paci. either.  Very different than E was.  I’d say for the most part week one was a true success!

Week 2: This week was a little different because Chad went back to work part time.  I all of a sudden felt very frazzled and in over my head.  Simple things like going to the grocery store with two kids seemed like an overwhelming task and something I’d never be able to do.  Thank God for baby wearing because I don’t know how else I’d do anything.  C continued to sleep the majority of the day which made it easier for me to put her down and pay attension to E.  Week two was about the time E came around and started finally showing interest in all things Campbell.  He was very sweet with her asking to hold her, kiss her, diaper her, give her his paci’s, hold her hand, etc.  It was nice to see that the two would be able to co-exist because it was certainly a rough start.  The three of us jumped right into things.  Chad did work from home a lot this week but the times he was working he couldn’t be with us.  I took the two to the park all bymyself, we ran errands, and we played out in the yard on days that it was semi nice out.  My mom also took some time off that week.  We bought me my treadmil!!!!! And even went out to lunch with both kids.  C slept the entire time.  C, you are a great sleeper girl.  I couldn’t have asked for a better gift from you!

Week 3:  All alone.  I decided to take the bull by the horn and just do this!  We went to the Children’s museum, parks, hung with friends, went to the zoo, etc.  We packed this week full of activities to make sure we were out of the house every. single. day.  Campbell was a HUGE trooper and for those of you wondering how I tote both kids around, Campbell is always strapped to me.  I love my baby carriers but my preferred carrier of choice is my Ergo.  This is my true love.  While C is in the Ergo I tote E around in the BOB.  This is my other love.  These two baby items are on my top baby items EVER list.  C is so happy in the Ergo and E is getting used to the BOB again after not really having to ride in it for 9 months.  He prefers the umbrella stoller over the BOB because he can see more but it’s easier on me if it goes in the BOB.  Anyways week 3 is where I started actually believing I could do this mother of two thing.  It came so naturally and easy to me.  C was starting to sleep even better, I believe sleeping 4 hour stretches at this point.  She was a little fussy in the evenings but nothing we couldn’t handle.  We’d put E down and have a nice 3 hours or so with C before we all went down for the night.  Most nights were filled with us either holding C or putting her in the swing.  It actually was pretty easy.  I kept saying to people “what’s the big deal with having two kids!?”  C also had her two week check up this week and weighed in at 7lbs 3oz.  The pediatrician also showed me a way of calming her when she cries and that’s by holding her in front of you under her arms and lifting her up and down.  Only the funny thing is that she holds her breath when you do this and balls her fists up and frowns.  C always looks like she’s in so much distress.  I LOVE her faces.  They crack me up.

Week 4…This is where things started to get interesting.  Entering this week C started to wake up out of her sleepy newborn phase and going into her “hey, look at me people” stage.  She started getting fussy too.  Like so fussy that nothing was making her happy except for wearing her in the Ergo.  Holy cow…My achy breaky back.  I had been wearing her all along but by the end of the day I was spent.  I couldn’t do it anymore.  The only time she was even remotely happy was if we were holding her and even then she would still cry and cry.  The girl won’t take a pacifier so this is new territory for me.  I don’t understand children that won’t take pacifiers.  Emmett is STILL 100% committed to his and I think would have a heart attack if we tried to take it away from him.  I don’t really know how kids just won’t take a pacifier but we tried and tried and tried and she acted like we were gagging her everytime the nipple went near her mouth.  We also tried a bottle this week for the first time.  Again, this was also new territory for me because Emmett took to the bottle RIGHT away.  I mean didn’t even hesitate.  It was like he was reunited with a long lost pal or something.  Not this girl.  She wants mama.  The first night we tried and tried and tried and she refused every time.  I quickly started freaking out because I really can’t handle having a kid who won’t take a bottle so I started immediately researching new bottles to try figuring she just didn’t like the Dr. Browns bottles we had.  She took about an ounce that night crying on and off through the entired 30 minutes that Chad was trying to feed her.  We tried again the next few days but this time with freshly pumped milk, not milk that had been in the refridgerator.  She took right to it and hasn’t looked back.  Thank goodness because we all know I’m a pretty selfish person and can’t be tied to my kid!  Anyways, week 4 was a bit of a challenge with all the crying but again, nothing we couldn’t handle and I do remember E doing this and it was fleeting so I figured for sure this would be fleeting as well.  I’ll save what happens next for her 2 month post but let’s just put it this way…It was a long month.  At least her sleeping at night has been manageable.  If I’m not mistaken, I believe she was going down at around 10ish and then waking between 1:30-3am for the first feeding and then again at about 4-5am at which point I just got out of bed if it was 5am because why not right?

Campbell my dear, I love you with all my heart.  I can’t believe how slowly and yet how quickly one entire month can fly by.  You have stollen our hearts and even won over your brother.  You are my daughter and I’ve waited all my life for you.  What an amazing month it has been.  I’ve had to be patient with you and that has not come easy to me because as your father would say “I like to broil things” meaning I want instand gratification and that is not easy when you are crying and I can’t figure out how to make you happy.  You are a VERY special person and I’m just so incredibly happy you’re mine and you chose our crazy family to be a part of.

Campbell’s Birth Story Part 2

After we sent the texts to both sets of parents to inform them we walked the hospital halls, joked with the nurses, I drank tons of water (I didn’t do this with Emmett and I payed for it later), and waited.  I really wasn’t uncomfortable at all.  The contractions were very manageable and I attribute that to having a different mindset going into labor this time around than I did with Emmett.  My parents finally showed up sometime before 6am.  It was nice to see them but at the same time the contractions were getting more intense and it was difficult breathing through them while they were in the room talking.  At one point I had to tell them to be quiet while I was having a contraction.  I needed to concentrate only on getting through the contractions and not on the chitter chatter that was going on around me.  It was a bit irritating.  Even after I specified this, my dad STILL continued to talk and ask me questions at the start of several contractions.  When he’d do this my mom would yell at him and say “Bill, she said don’t talk to her while she’s having a contraction”.  That made it even worse because the two were arguing!  It was a bit stressful and I really wanted to ask them to leave but I’m not the type of pregnant person who is a bitch while in labor so I kept my mouth shut.

I hadn’t been checked in a while so the nurse came in and I asked my parents to leave for a moment so that she could check me.  I was already at 7cm!  I had made it to 7cm, no problem what-so-ever!  I was so excited!  She also told me the same thing the other nurses had said that when the doc. breaks my water the baby is going to come fast.  She also delivered the news that my regular doc. was currently on her way to the hospital and that she’d be the one delivering my baby!!!  I was so excited because I really didn’t want someone delivering me who I had never met.  I know it’s common practice but still.  So we waited for my doc. to get there at 7am.  As soon as she got there we sent my parents away and the doc. examined me and broke my water.  I was so scared but so excited.  I was scared because I knew this would go fast and also I knew what was to come.  After she broke my water I still felt nothing.  The contractions didn’t pick up and I actually felt as though they were slowing down.  I was a bit frustrated because I figured it’d be another 20-30 minutes and I’d be holding my baby.  I told the nurse this and she said that maybe I’d just have to shift positions.  So I got up and sat on the birth ball.  Then I moved back to the bed and hung myself over the back of it so that I was upright hoping that gravity would do it’s thing.  I had a VERY intense contractions all of a sudden and the slight urge to push.  The nurse checked me and told me that I couldn’t push yet and that I was still solidly at 7cm.  She told me that the baby is super low and still continuing to come down but that I wasn’t dilating and that if I pushed I’d tear my cervix.  I had several more of these contractions where I kept having the urge to push.  It was very painful.  I also started feeling super nauseous every time a contraction would hit.  These contractions were no joke.  I would have to moan and move my body side to side just to get through them.  They were terrible.  I was in so much pain.  I kept begging the nurse to check me and every time she did I was still at 7cm.  I wasn’t making any progress.  I was so frustrated.

Finally the doc. came back in to see how I was doing and to check me out herself.  She made the call to get me on a pitocin drip.  Just a very low dose, a 2.  The nurse assured me that it wouldn’t take much once the drip was started.  They hooked me up and wow, pitocin is NO JOKE.  I had a few contractions that felt like the previous ones and then one BAD one that sent me over the edge.  The nurse told me that it wasn’t too late for pain relief if I wanted it but that is exactly what I didn’t need to be hearing because I wanted it so badly.  I looked at Chad and said, “I need an epidural but I don’t want one”.  I never said that with Emmett but this time around was so intense and so different.  The pain was like nothing I’ve ever felt in my life.  I didn’t even know I could feel pain like that.  I wanted to die.  And not progressing and getting frustrating news every time I was checked wasn’t helping either.  The nurse mentioned to me that the baby would let her know when it was time to push by watching the monitor and she kept telling me it wasn’t time.  I kept feeling very very strong urges to push.  She finally said to me that she could reach up my you know what and try to work with a contraction and dilate me herself.  I was in so much pain that I agreed to this.  The next contraction was the worst pain ever.  Chad said he’d never in his life seen someone in so much pain and it was very scary to witness.  But that did it.  She had dilated me from a 7 to a 10 with one contraction then it was no joke, it was seriously time to push.  The nurse got the doc. in there and the doc. asked me if I wanted my perinium numbed still.  I said absolutely and so she proceeded to prep the shot.  But I knew it was too late for that.  I needed to push.  I begged the nurse and doc. to let me push so they let me push lightly, enough to relieve some pressure.  I could feel the baby coming out.  The doc. gave me the shot and I pushed and the babies head came out.  The shot was completely ineffective.  I don’t even know why she bothered asking me if I wanted one, not to mention she went at a snails pace to get everything ready.  They told me to stop pushing because I’m assuming that they needed to suction the babies mouth or slip the umbilical cord over her neck.  Then they let me push again and she slid right out.  TWO pushes and she was out!!  So dramatically different than what my experience was for Emmett.  I think it was a total pushing time of 10 minutes.  The first thing I did was check her parts.  I wasn’t convinced she was a girl yet.  Yes, she was a girl indeed!  I couldn’t believe she was out and it was over.  However, it wasn’t over.  I delivered the placenta and I heard the doc. tell someone to send it to pathology right away.  All of a sudden I started getting extremely lightheaded and having the feeling that I was going to faint.  The nurse kept asking me if I wanted someone to take the baby but I couldn’t let go of her.  It took every ounce of energy to keep a hold of her and hug her tightly against me.  The doc. informed me that I was hemorraging and losing a lot of blood.  They laid me down and put a huge shot of something in my leg, I’m assuming this was to stop the bleeding.  Chad described this part as horrifying.  He said it was just waterfalls of blood coming out.  I asked the doc. if everything was ok and if I was “safe”.  She assured me everything was going to be fine but that I was losing a lot of blood.  My lips and mouth went numb and I think that was a side affect to the shot the gave me.  They also upped my dose of pitocin to stop the bleeding.  I was really scared as I didn’t feel normal.  Then I started shivering.  Uncontrollable shivering.  I do remember doing this with Emmett so I wasn’t totally freaked out but it didn’t happen until hours later.  I could not get warm.  They put tons of hot blankets over me.  Finally everything started to normalize.  I still hadn’t had a great view of my daughter.  I had no clue what she really looked like.  At first glance she wasn’t pretty.  She was smashed up and blue.  Emmett looked perfect when he was born and had the most perfect coloring.  Campbell’s nose was smashed up like a pig and like I mentioned, she was blue/purple.  And she had a set of lungs.  Sometimes you hear mother’s say that hearing their baby’s cry was the sweetest sound, not me.  She was LOUD!  Emmett’s cry was soft and sweet.  This baby wouldn’t stop crying.  Very indicative of what was to come 🙂  After things calmed down a bit Chad ran out to grab my parents and have them come back to see us.  It was nice having them there and much better having them there after the birth then before.

I’m not sure how long I held my little girl but they finally took her from me and weighed her and got her measurements.  She was 6lbs 10oz and 18in long born at 10:18am.  Such an amazing experience and so different than my first.  I did say right after she came out, “I don’t think I ever want to do this again”.  That remains to be seen.  The birth is now a distant memory but one that will be burned in my brain.  Not the same way as Emmett’s birth was but this one was unique to me all the same.  I’m so glad I have my boy and my girl.  How lucky are we?  I feel like I’ve won the lottery a million times over.

Me time

I have definitely been through the ringer these past few weeks.  Ok, it’s been 6.5 weeks since my baby girl has been born and let’s be honest, having two kids is just hard.  I will say though that it’s easier than having a toddler and being pregnant, at least for me anyways.  I have SO much more energy now that she’s out of me!  I LOVE not being pregnant.  Actually, yesterday was my 6 week postpartum appointment and my doc. even told me that it’s only 2% of the population that actually enjoys being pregnant.  Thank goodness, it’s not just me that finds pregnancy 100% miserable.

Anyways, I woke up for Campbell’s 2nd feeding this morning at 4:26am and just decided to get up for the day.  I’m tired of not having any me time and if getting up at 4:26am is the only way to get it then so be it.  I’m not a night owl so staying up until 11 or midnight is just not going to happen.  I’m my best and at most peace in the slow morning hours.  I miss blogging, I miss writing thank you notes, I miss WORKING OUT!  I miss reading blogs in silence and drinking coffee without worrying about spilling it on a little person.  Campbell has been very challenging lately and cries all. the. time.  I mean ALL THE TIME!  The only times she’s not crying is when she’s sleeping (which so far has been amazingly well at night thus making the daytime crying manageable), when she’s eating (and even then she cries on and off while trying to eat), and while being bounced so hard that I feel like I’m shaking her.  I don’t mean to bounce her this hard, it’s just what she finds comforting.  I don’t understand it at all and right now we’re entering day 4 of this behavior.  It’s wearing us thin, I’m not going to lie.  The first 2 weeks were a challenge because we were learning how to adjust to a family of 4 and how we were going to manage doing things with 2 kids.  Emmett had a rough time adjusting which made him act out.  He was tough to deal with and I’m not used to him being aggravated and in a bad mood.  The second 3 weeks were pure bliss.  Campbell slept a lot, Emmett was back to himself, I started working out again, and quite frankly I found the two kid thing to be no big deal.  We weren’t at all sleep deprived and Campbell really only gave us trouble at night between the hours of 7pm-when we put her down for bed.  BUT last week and going into this week has been nothing short of pure hell.

I don’t say this lightly.  It all really started last week when Campbell started to become inconsolable in the evening hours.  Chad kept his cool and kept reminding me “this too shall pass”.  Ok fine, this too shall pass.  But over the weekend it got worse.  Our poor little E-man got really sick and we had to take him to the ER.  He woke up around 12:45am on Sunday morning with a horrid barking cough and couldn’t breath, like, at all.  It was very VERY scary.  We broke out the nebulizer not knowing what else to do and it wasn’t helping because he was crying to hard and not letting us put the mask on his face to even receive any medicine.  His breathing was so labored I thought for sure he’d pass out if we didn’t hurry up and act fast.  It was very scary.  He was scared.  We were scared.  So we took him to the ER.  That’s right, we packed up the baby and jumped in the car.  When we got there the symptoms seemed to have almost disappeared but we felt confident in our decision so we stayed until 3am.  Croup.  Yes, that’s what he was diagnosed with.  He was given a steroid and we were sent on our way.  Luckily both kids went right back to sleep once we got home and we all slept until 8:30am the next day.  Happy Mother’s Day to me!  HA!  Little did I know that the next day would prove to be the nightmare of a lifetime.  It was just a horrible rotten day.  The worst day.  I get a Mother’s Day re-do the next time we have a free weekend because that day will go down in the books as the worst day ever.  Enough said.  Sleep deprivation doesn’t help anyone.

Anyways, since that day Emmett has returned to his normal happy self and Campbell has been a complete nightmare of a child.  Every time she falls asleep we try and transfer and without fail, she wakes up SCREAMING.  Then it takes another 30 minutes to console her and get her back to sleep only to repeat the cycle all day long.  Like I said, this started on Mother’s Day and has been going on ever since.  I know, it’s only Wednesday, but I don’t know how much more of this I can take.  My only time during the day to do anything is Emmett’s nap time and when I have to deal with a screaming child the entire 3 hours, well, let’s just say I get nothing done.  On Monday I just gave up and slept with Campbell.  I had her on my chest and just gave in.  Yes, it felt really good to sleep but it was completely unnecessary.  I don’t know, I don’t need much sleep so it was a bit frustrating that she was asleep yet I was trapped under her but the alternative was to try and transfer her and it just wasn’t worth it.  I may do the same today.

So alas, I’m up at 4:26am to be alone.  To have time to myself.  To get some laundry done, to blog, to do some food prep, and to watch trash TV.  Normally I’d exercise but I’m an idiot and started running too soon and injured myself already.  My knees are on fire anytime I put pressure on them so I’m taking the week off.  Next week my 4:26am wakeup call will definitely include my favorite activities but until then, I’m going to enjoy the peace and quiet of other things and take control of a life that’s so out of control right now.