As I have done with every pregnancy of mine, I convinced myself that I was going to miscarry this baby. I do this as a defense mechanism so that I don’t get too attached like I did my first pregnancy in the hopes that it won’t hurt quite so much. I told both sides of the family by having the kids wear shirts that I made saying “Big Brother” on Emmett’s and “Big Sister” on Cam’s. My mom saw the shirts right away and couldn’t even believe it. It took my mom pointing the shirts out to my dad several times before he caught on. He even read the shirts out loud and after seeing and reading the shirts only commented “Yes, that’s right, you are a big brother and you are a big sister” which makes no since at all since Cam was not a big sister at the time. We told Chad’s family in Las Vegas at our yearly family trip the same way. His dad caught on right away and it took Chad asking his mom if she wanted to hold Cam by holding her up and literally putting the baby at eye level for my mother in law to catch on. His sister also caught on right away. It was a really fun way to share our news. I was only about 4 weeks pregnant when we shared so we hadn’t seen a doc. or anything by this point but I knew that if I did miscarry I wanted everyone to know I was pregnant to share in the sadness with me because I didn’t want to go through that pain alone.
Anyways, I didn’t miscarry. When I got back from our Las Vegas trip I called the doc. to make an appointment and they wouldn’t see me until I was at least 8-10 weeks along which was discouraging for me especially since I was low on progesterone when I was pregnant with Em and needed to take supplements for the first 14 weeks. This is only found out through a blood test which you need to take super early. So what does a crazy pregnant lady do when she wants to find out if the pregnancy is viable? She asks her nurse friend if she can come in after hours to be scanned (this certain nurse friend is at the hospital as I type this getting ready to meet her baby #3 and I am thrilled for her!!!). But first let me just explain how I knew this pregnancy was viable. At exactly 5 weeks and 3 days I felt nauseous, tired and pregnant. I went on a run the morning of June 3, 2015 and I could barely make it through 4 miles. I felt like vomiting the entire time. Now at 36 weeks pregnant I was over this feeling completely but so early on in the game this feeling made me feel excited and happy. The other unfortunate thing is that my summer school course started on June 1 which meant an entire summer filled with nausea while trying to take this course. It was horrible. That next week after I was over 6 weeks I got scanned by my nurse friend and there was indeed a little beautiful heartbeat measuring at 6 weeks and 4 days which is exactly what I had calculated.
As the weeks rolled on I became sicker and sicker and sicker with no end in site. I saw a regular doc. on June 24 at about 8.5 weeks pregnant. They scanned me there and baby’s heartbeat was nice and strong and they told me baby was developing beautifully. All the parts were where they needed to be and everything looked good for an 8 week old embryo. I was so happy.
Not a lot to report over the next 4 weeks. Lots and lots of exhaustion and nausea and the feeling over literally wanting to die. I even had to get Emmett into preschool during the summer because I could barely parent. I wanted to die. It was hard to do everything. When the sun would come up in the mornings all I could think was “not this again”. Some days I would go to bed at 6:30pm and not get up again until 7am the next day. Coffee tasted horrible, brushing my teeth was a nightmare, being alive was just awful. I lived day after day like this for the first 12 weeks. Oh did I mention I was also taking a STATISTICS course!? Dumb. But hindsight. And I’ m glad it’s over. I proved to myself that if I can somehow manage to take a stats class while pregnant in my first trimester along with being a stay at home mom that I can do any course.
And can I just say that being pregnant in your first trimester in the dead of summer is stupid? If I had it to do over again I could have gotten pregnant in August or September and had another April baby or a May baby because at least there would be some cooler mornings thrown in there. Holy shit. Having to go through the entire summer for the first 12 weeks was just a death sentence. And of course the only things that sounded good to me were craft beers and margaritas. The kids wanted to play outside every waking minute and I just couldn’t be out there. So I would set up shop on our porch swing and try to watch them and count down the hours until nap time at which point I would put Cam down and go lay with Em in his room until he fell asleep. I would say 90% of the time I would fall asleep before him and wake up in a daze 2 hours later. It was a shit show in our house and I think we can all agree around here that we are happy to never see mama/Linds pregnant again.