A Letter to my first baby girl close to her 2nd birthday

I know, this post is almost 2 months late but honestly I just haven’t thought about how time has passed so quickly and I didn’t even realize I have written next to nothing about Cam since her 11 month (or maybe 1 year!?) post!  I want to remember Campbell just as she is now so I have decided to share with you all a letter to my first baby girl.

Oh my Campbell Bean.  I wish I could even begin to articulate how much I love you and how much joy you’ve brought to my life…ok really our lives.  All of us.  Me, your dad and your brother and sister.  We all are totally fascinated by you.  You just complete our lives and I am in awe as to why or how I even got so lucky to be your mom.  Ever since the first day you were born I have studied your every feature and asked how you are my daughter because I don’t see a resemblance between us what so ever.  But damn am I glad you’re mine.  I have always wanted a girl and when I was pregnant with you I tried to convince myself I was having another boy so I wouldn’t be so disappointed when they told me I was having another one but to my surprise they told me you were a girl!!!!!  Cue crying for days!  I asked at every single ultrasound after that one that they told me your gender if you were still a girl and when you came out on your birthday the first thing I asked the docs was “is she still a girl!?”

I can and can’t believe you are two now.  I’m not going to go through the cliche questions of “how on earth did this happen?!” because I know how it happened.  We have lived every day to it’s fullest and so life has literally sped by at lightning speed.  You are my little spit fire.  You have always been a super intense child but as you grow the intensity has manifested in different ways.  When you were a baby you cried non stop for the first 3 months.  That was intense.  When we tried giving you a bottle or pacifier you flat out refused every.single.time.  That was intense.  When I tried handing you off to your dad so that I could get some stuff done around the house you SCREAMED your head off.  That was intense.  When you didn’t and still don’t want to do something you are very assertive and just won’t do it.  That’s intense.  You love hard and you hate hard.  It’s hilarious and scary in the best of ways.  You make us laugh all the freaking time.  You share so well and yet you know what is yours and if someone takes something that’s yours you let them know it’s yours but never are physical (unless it’s with Emmett).  You just simply state that it’s yours until that person gives it back.  You have a smile that lights up every room and a laugh that’s contagious for days.  You are the sweetest little mommy I have ever seen to both your dolls and your baby sister.  You are constantly hushing your babies and feeding them to sleep and if your little sister is crying you are the first to let me know that “Aubrey is cy-ing mommy!”.  You will rush over to her with the first bottle you can find and shove it into her mouth or find a pacifier from when Emmett was a baby and put that in her mouth.  You are quick to give her all the hugs and all the kisses too.  She is a bit terrified of you but you mean well every single time.

You LOVE your sleep.  I have never seen a kid who actually asks to go to sleep like you do.  You know when you’ve hit your limit and will take my hand and tell me you want to go “nigh nigh” and get “blue bunny”.  You have climbed out of your crib once but haven’t done it since and will stay in there for hours in the morning until we are ready to come get you out.  I’d love to transition you to a big girl bed but you are just so dang happy in that little crib of yours that it breaks my heart to think about moving you.  You are just about as sweet as they come but also as sour as they come.  You remind me of those sour patch kids commercials actually where they do sweet and sour things in the same 2 seconds.  You will beat your brother up if it comes to it but you guys seriously can’t live without each other either.  You guys mimic each other so much.  It’s super fun to watch.  He does everything you do and vise versa.  How I have kids who love each other so much isn’t really beyond me but I also knew it could have turned out a lot differently too.  I hope Aubrey fits into your little clique.

You get yourself dressed most mornings and are very particular in which shoes you wear for the day.  Unless I force you into your carseat shoeless and bring along the shoes I want you to wear, you will pick them out and that’s that.  You also love people.  You love being the center of attention and you aren’t the least bit shy.  You love going with me to Emmett’s preschool because you get to play play play until we have to leave.  My favorite is watching you find dolls and put them in a mini grocery cart and push them around the room like they are in a stroller.  I was a bit worried about you when you were 1 because you flat out refused to go to childcare at the gym but you have really come out of that stage.  You still prefer me above anyone else and I’m the only one who can put you to bed if I’m home.  If I’m out your dad or anyone else can put you to bed just fine but if I’m home cleaning up or something I have to drop everything I’m doing so that I can put you to bed.  Your dad actually wishes he could put you to bed just once but we have tried that a few times and it totally blows up in our faces.

Oh my bean, there are just so many things I love about you in this stage right now.  I love your smile.  I love your laugh. You get the biggest kick out of the smallest things.  I love that you will hug Emmett out of nowhere or kiss Aubrey on the cheek or hug me on the leg.  I love how soft your skin is and I love the sound of your voice.  I love that you can sing songs in perfect pitch.  I love how you’re willing to play just about anything and everything your brother wants you to play.  You guys have this game you play out in the car called “pusser lever” and it’s a place you guys have made up to go to when I let you play in my car in the garage.  You are constantly asking Emmett if he wants to go to “pusa levea”.  I love that you always ask to hold my hand either while getting ready to go to bed or while we are driving in the car.  I love that you will sit in a stroller!!  I love how much joy you have brought to our lives.  I love that you love sleep.  I love that you are so particular about so many things.  I love that you love swimming and baths and all things water.  I love watching you run.  I love watching you try new things.  I love how easy it is for you to make a new friend whether that friend is 5 months or 75 years.  I love that you make make anyone laugh.  I love that you say the funniest things like “See so tiny” or “See so pretty” when you see Aubrey.  My Campbell Bean, I could go on and on and on because really I just love everything about you.  Even the things that I hate (like tantrums and biting) I love about you.  I try not to laugh when you do something you’re not supposed to because inevitably your brother will follow you and he knows he’s not supposed to do 1/2 the things you do because he knows better but you make it so hard not to laugh.  You are a true ham.  Quick story about that: We all were out to eat about a week about with your great Aunt Kim and you and Emmett were making a royal mess.  You guys had decided to take a water from the table and mix in everything you could find from salt and pepper to hot sauce and sweetener packets.  It kept you guys busy but it was super gross.  Anyways, somewhere along the time we were there you kicked Emmett or something because he immediately started telling me about what you had done to him.  I asked you to say you were sorry to him and you immediately looked straight at him and said “sooooo-RE EM”.  I could barely contain myself.

Thank you for choosing us as your parents.  I ask God everyday how I got to lucky to be your mom.  You have so much personality and so much to offer this world.  I can’t wait to see where these things take you as you grow up.  It’s definitely bitter sweet to watch you start to leave the baby phase and now to the toddler stage and soon to the preschooler stage but it’s so fun.  I remember my mom asking a friend of hers who had grown up children, probably in their 20s at that point, when my brother and I were in grade school, which stage had been her favorite and she told my mom that it just gets better and better as they grow.  I understand that 100% now because so far I would not want you as any other person than the one I have right now and I’m sure it will continue to be that way. You are the light of our lives and bring our stress levels down about 1,000 notches because of your zest for life.  I love you with all of my heart beannie.

-Mom

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