Resolutions

Now, I’m not one who is big on New Years resolutions or anything like that but I was talking to my husband last night at the bar where it was just the TWO of us.  Yes, that’s right, we had no boy, no dog.  My mom so graciously offered to watch Emmett so that we could go see Silver Linings Playbook and then go to a bar of get a coffee or whatever afterwards.  Anyways, we aren’t big into turning down an offer from someone to watch our kids so we took her up on it.  I’m getting a bit off track here but after the movie when my husband and I were chatting it up after a pretty strong beer, I told him “I want to blog more”.  I want this to be my “resolution” of sorts.  But what in the world am I going to blog about when I don’t really do anything?!  Well, I have decided to change all that.  Right now I’m listening to an audio book for our book club next Friday night.  It’s a book that I chose because I didn’t really know what book to choose.  It’s called The Happiness Project and so far I’m really getting into it.  It’s basically a book written by a women who wants to make her life better by becoming happier.  She goes through explaining little by little how she did this during the course of a year.  She takes 12 months and categorizes areas in which she can improve her happiness.  I’m loving it so far and I have realized that while I’m very content and happy with my current situation, I can do better.

My life has become very mundane and really, it usually is.  There are those few exceptions like getting a boyfriend, moving from KC to CO with him, finishing school, starting a new job, getting married, and having a baby but really, those are just markers and milestones.  It’s almost as if once the events take place like the obtaining of a title on a relationship or the move or the marriage or getting the job, etc., the mundane sets in.  I want this blog to hold me accountable to do something outside of the norm. everyday.  If I don’t do something then I have nothing to write about and I enjoy writing.

This really has to do a lot with the passage of time.  After Emmett came, everyone kept telling me, “they grow up so fast” and “don’t blink because you blink and you’ll wake up one day and he’ll be 18”.  In the past I’ve never really noticed the passage of time and really have been ok with the mundaneness of my life.  I have been ok with going to a job I hate every single day for some reason.  But these past 8 months have really shown me that once you have a child, you don’t have a single second to spare.  You really do have to grasp onto every moment because if you don’t, the moment will flash before you and you’ll never ever be able to return to that moment again.  I want to start really embracing my time with my son.  I don’t ever want another day to go by and think “wow, that was a waste of a day.  I literally did nothing today.”  So, in an attempt to have a more fulfilled and preserved life, I’m going to make the most out of every day and my time as a stay at home momma worth it.  I want to look back on this time fondly and never regret a single moment.  I want to be able to look back and say “we took advantage of what little time we have”.  My son’s first year is almost up and I will never ever be able to go back to month 8.  So here’s to more cuddle times, more naps together, more singing, more dancing and more baby wearing then I ever thought possible.  Here’s to more reading, more holding, more kissing, more picture taking and most importantly more documenting because really, how can we fully remember a moment when it’s not documented?  I want Emmett to be able to look at this blog one day and be able to read about our time together.  I want him to know that I am trying my best and that at this point in time, there is no where else and no one else I’d rather be spending this much time with.

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